2 Jan 2015

Waiting for the arachnid

Just found a forum about surviving squalor. Not really me but I am untidy. Always have been a 'mess' as my friend would say. I think part of the problem of my laziness is lack of oxygen which is why I like to keep windows open - weather permitting - and often freeze other people in the process. I guess I am feline when it comes to housework. Life of a cat, heart of a dog, is it. This translates to various pathological labels that the NHS can tuck into at will, but I digress.  The forum prompted me to look twice at the Hoover (vacuum cleaner of some brand or other) and I tried to figure it out. 'Line up the arrows' had me dropping the device in despair as the arrows were already lined up and nothing was coming off that was meant to. Concluded that a new machine is in order. This time, will get a bright spark in to show me how to work it - just as long as I'm not in hospital but out here in the land of the living, ish.  Oh to live like the spider in my bathroom. Existing in peace,nobody hassling it. The Electrician who came to fix the light in the bathroom today, said he had a 'similar sized one, above the drivers seat' you get the feeling that these wily arachnids are taking advantage and biding their time before attacking us nice folk, which could end in mortal wounding. We're just saying to spidey 'do not move, do not run, do not hassle me, and you can live in peace' but ya know, they have a habit of going a bit mental and running about at times. We, me and the builder, are twin souls in the 'spider protector' department. Both protecting, both wary - mind you - if I were him, I'd splat his seeing as if it dropped when he's driving it could kill him. Mine would only give me a brief 'heebegeebee' thing. So all this as I wait for a doctor to descend like a giant arachnid on my private life, all must be declared, all my privacy, justifying my existence again. Jealous of a spider.

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