Notes for Child Abuse Campaigners
The loudest campaigners are usually kind-hearted, well-meaning and hard-working individuals.
Sometimes though, 'supporting' can be more harmful than helpful. Feeding a negative (known as 'negative reinforcement' in Behaviourism) is often self-defeating. A lot of these well-intentioned people have witnessed malice themselves, see it everywhere (about half the planet has a malicious streak) and vow to fight it using everything they've got. They can though, appear as 'suspicious' types themselves.
They make the best of things and sometimes, endure hidden anxieties, sometimes suffer from severe mental (or other ill health) disorder or torment, due to complex loyalties and problems. Sometimes old, maybe 'lesser' injustices, also drive them (*They've often been subjected to other abuse/bullying in one way or another)
They can 'shine' in many areas but never can be the best they COULD be due to clinging to old fashioned values, without evolving new interests, but some social structures, that mostly serve to make them feel secure and happy, can fail to support, when it's too 'blinkered' or stubborn. Group identity is sometimes undervalued. Simplifying the world to exclude your more diverse thinking, whilst getting things done, can seem the best and more just, option.
Finding the 'quickest' way *only* though, only proves your own general impatience and thus possible inclination to exaggerate. Judges in law defer to criminology and social sciences (social workers) to help them decide if witnesses are truthful people, or prone to violence/malicious intent = lies & crime.
Look for the Red flags.
Activists were often brought up to be good, to be forgiving, no matter what, to stick to beliefs and values that were traditional and that served the bigger crowd. Not to be selfish or self-serving, but rather, to live to serve. Beloved family members or friends, could still be alive, and are sometimes, good people who maybe did bad things, but who escaped punishment.
The trouble is, by allowing those 'good' people to escape justice, do you really know how many others were forced to suffer? Those guilty could really, have preyed on numerous, vulnerable people, in order to satisfy their own sad addictions and resentment of innocence (a running streak in abusers and rapists of all types, is the mockery of and lack of ability, to properly respect individual innocence, regarding people as helpless objects, rather than respecting them as sentient and unique thinking and feeling beings in their own right)
Leaving room for doubt and considering other perceptions more carefully - when addressing 'bigger pictures' - is an essential, healthy way to address things as judgemental people are sometimes guilty of crimes themselves and can be found to be self-punishing by 'fighting' for good.
. It can serve as a mask to their own problems or as a therapeutic way to help obtain justice. In order to be regarded with more respect, state your case and then move on to living your life as contentedly as you can, whenever possible. This helps everyone.
Diversify and take up new interests (the best ideas for solving problems can come when doing new things) Direct survivors in dire need to well-established sources of help.
Developing your other interests and your sense of humour can help with more balanced argument, as well as (vital) personal insight. If compensation is a 'driver', be assured that Judges know that much life is lost and misguided due to abuse. You don't have to stay victimised 7 days a week, year in year out.
Keep specific times to focus on ways to be active in seeking justice. Focus your problems in a constructive way and assert yourself regularly. Set a time to do it. It will help you enjoy the rest of the life you deserve to live.
There's plenty to benefit from by using good manners and courtesy, and by quietly rejecting some 'group think'. You don't have to react to everything. Find a way to react 'positively'.
The trouble is, the suppressing of resentment can lead to a life of abuse, addiction and crime, not always though. The act of pursuing the guilty can be reinforcing and serve your community.
Acting out a life, rather than becoming the essential you, is never going to lead to 'perfection' as harbouring injustice as though it didn't happen, for a good person, is (rightly) impossible. It's not NPD to want to see justice done, but it can become psychopathic when well-meaning supporters, who could POSSIBLY be rabid frauds themselves - watch for malicious streak - encourage the abused to get angrier and more angry, which can cause awful distress and illness. *Encourage them to focus, and encourage yourself to get it right, serving anger by itself, is a mistake.
Give constructive solutions.
Something to consider is, that feeling generally anxious can naturally contribute to negativity. Using elimination diets can be surprisingly helpful. ( I'm still reeling from discovering that tea can cause havoc (a 'DAO' blocker) and so can sugar and chocolate) Sensitive people are prone to weak immunity and so working on strengthening that, is only a good idea. And allergy testing is set to improve soon, so hang in there. Meanwhile try this great site for helpful anti-anxiety downloads
The best such supporters can do, is to direct vulnerable friends to a safe way of writing it all down, in order to help clarify their thinking. This helps with mental health and for possible future legal action. Improve your argument.
The slowness of the legal processes can be horrible and frustrating, and to stay cool whilst addressing this, takes endless patience. The idea that being the angriest and loudest might FEEL good, but channelling anger into physical exercise is probably the best thing, helps you write things more clearly - and that will help you later on. Obsessing over one injustice, can be useful, if done correctly, but get it out forensically, in secure forums. You don't want to give your enemy 'a stick' to beat you with!' 'Never give your enemy information''
The law has to be harsh in order to ensure that, before removing the liberty of an otherwise innocent person, that they do indeed, have the right man/woman. It can get frustrating when the anger and fury doesn't seem to culminate in the justice we seek. This is not least due to the fact that hot-headedness fails to pay attention to the bigger pictures. Unregulated anger doesn't usually solve any problems. Clarifying your arguments and supporting them with evidence, can do. Judges are meant to be impartial, not biased. When you produce a logical and reasoned argument, you are more likely to obtain justice. Reframing your arguments can help everyone. Use detail, focus, be patient, get and share support from established forums.
Elizabeth Lucye Robillard
*ALLERGY - if your diet isn't working, you probably haven't done your elimination diets properly (investigate probiotics, can help a lot of illness)
