LBC Discussing Care Home Abuse - I have the Solution but they won't let me on! #Reasons to despise James O'brien #2

Turned on LBC to hear the knight from the midlands discussing care-home abuse and setting self up as the martyr as per. The thing is, he never does it right or convincingly as he won't reason with good/passionate/interesting callers WITHOUT TRYING TO WIN THE POINT AT ANY COST - or let them finish, and the staff that take calls (nice sweet young white chicks) clearly don't care if they could help disabled kids nor the very vulnerable elderly nor do they care to stop them from being abused (always disregarding that they too will be fragile one day) let alone sexually abused kids in care, what kind of people are they?  So James, this is for you - one more person gets abused today because of the bad training of LBC staff not to accept such calls nor to relay messages, nor to read texts or tweets or LBC Facebook pages, nor pass on messages from callers who do not wish to go on air - all of which indicates from behaviour that your show is staffed by NPD's (see Sam Vaknin) . My phone is also to blame, a fkn Huawei (mobile phone) is stuck, for some very mysterious reason, on 'straight to voicemail' (reason number #999 not to buy from China or Sainsbury's this week) and there is no fix, so you can blame it all on the Chinese James. I expect you will, in due course. Still, nice that Farage has a spot now, only fair (same thing with Cristo and Petrie Hosken) 

Emergency Christmas Cake - what happens if the cake or pudding is burned, lost or otherwise bgrred up? (and why to share NOW)

OK - we all know you should have baked and had your Christmas cakes and puddings resting by now? At least for a few weeks? Meantime - this is for the hapless and for those who won't die from fussiness nor lack of absolute Epicurean delight. My lovely Mumsnet if the best place for other help and recipes but here is mine

Save some fruit NOW. Mixed dried fruits, save some aside.

Emergency Christmas Pudding/Cake


Dried fruit (let's say) 4 - 8 cups (value brand is fine)

1 tsp Indian Cassia Bark, 1/3 tsp mixed spice, 1/3 tsp nutmeg

Grated zest of half an Italian lime, teaspoon Essex ginger (any)

1/2 cup Ocado/house/shop brandy

1/2 cup Ontario maple syrup/golden syrup (not for me the latter)

3 tblspns Molasses/brown sugar (phosphorus free if poss)

2 Tblspns table honey (Sainbury's is OK)

Himalayan Pink Salt (PINCH of any salt is OK)

1 cup British Unsalted butter

1-2 Bramley apples

4-6 Eggs depending on Breed /size/ (duck is good)

2 cups of flour of your choice - spelt is good

1.3 cup of Ground nuts, almond will do or select 1/2 cup of nut butter

1 Tablspoons Hot Chocolate powder

Chop it all, mix it up well and pour into your large saucepan, add a tablespoon of Somerset cider vinegar/Braggs (optional) and a cup of water.

Turn oven on to cake-heat

Bring saucepan mix to boil, then place lid on, allow to simmer on low heat (don't leave it unattended, keep stirring and checking) for approx 5-10 minutes

Grease and flour your tin, add gunk and bake on medium - ADD TO OVEN a large-ish bowl of water - place at bottom of oven. This helps stop it catching/drying out. Do not have oven on too high. This is a wet/puddingy cake/pud and not expected to be springy or bouncy. Bake for 1 and half to two hours (check it but it's fine as long as you love quality goo!)