*NO COOK* Divine FAST Christmas Cake (raw)

This is heaven. And it's no oven-cook. And it's Christmassy.  Raw too. #Win

2 jars Mincemeat (Meridian doing a good one)

1. Tub Buttermilk, approx 500ml

1   cup nut butter

1   cup ground almonds/nuts

1 tsp [adjust for older kids] Malt Whiskey/Brandy

1/2 Teaspoon  Ginger (ground is OK) 

1    Orange, peeled and chopped

1-2.  Grated carrots

1/2  cup apple sauce

3-8 cups Oats/Mixed grain cereal (adjust quantities to suit, you are after consistency)

For the Icing 

1/2 cup hot chocolate powder/cocoa

1 Medium- small tub (abt 500g) Cream Cheese

1 Small cup  orange juice

1 tspn Vanilla Bean Paste/good Vanilla extract

1 Tspn Honey (a particularly nice one is Spanish Forest Honey) 

Mix em, shape nicely, top with icing, place with a cover, in fridge, for up to a week. and eat.  

Emergency Christmas Cake - what happens if the cake or pudding is burned, lost or otherwise bgrred up? (and why to share NOW)

OK - we all know you should have baked and had your Christmas cakes and puddings resting by now? At least for a few weeks? Meantime - this is for the hapless and for those who won't die from fussiness nor lack of absolute Epicurean delight. My lovely Mumsnet if the best place for other help and recipes but here is mine

Save some fruit NOW. Mixed dried fruits, save some aside.

Emergency Christmas Pudding/Cake


Dried fruit (let's say) 4 - 8 cups (value brand is fine)

1 tsp Indian Cassia Bark, 1/3 tsp mixed spice, 1/3 tsp nutmeg

Grated zest of half an Italian lime, teaspoon Essex ginger (any)

1/2 cup Ocado/house/shop brandy

1/2 cup Ontario maple syrup/golden syrup (not for me the latter)

3 tblspns Molasses/brown sugar (phosphorus free if poss)

2 Tblspns table honey (Sainbury's is OK)

Himalayan Pink Salt (PINCH of any salt is OK)

1 cup British Unsalted butter

1-2 Bramley apples

4-6 Eggs depending on Breed /size/ (duck is good)

2 cups of flour of your choice - spelt is good

1.3 cup of Ground nuts, almond will do or select 1/2 cup of nut butter

1 Tablspoons Hot Chocolate powder

Chop it all, mix it up well and pour into your large saucepan, add a tablespoon of Somerset cider vinegar/Braggs (optional) and a cup of water.

Turn oven on to cake-heat

Bring saucepan mix to boil, then place lid on, allow to simmer on low heat (don't leave it unattended, keep stirring and checking) for approx 5-10 minutes

Grease and flour your tin, add gunk and bake on medium - ADD TO OVEN a large-ish bowl of water - place at bottom of oven. This helps stop it catching/drying out. Do not have oven on too high. This is a wet/puddingy cake/pud and not expected to be springy or bouncy. Bake for 1 and half to two hours (check it but it's fine as long as you love quality goo!)